Whether you dream of an intimate adventure or a classic celebration with all your family and friends, there’s no wrong way to get married! But if you’re stuck deciding between eloping and a big wedding, this guide is for you. We’ll explore the key differences between elopements and traditional weddings, and hopefully give you a bit more clarity (and excitement!) for your big day.
Whether you picture yourself exchanging vows at the base of a New England waterfall or dancing the night away at a grand reception, the most important thing is choosing the path that feels right for you. Let’s dive in!
What is an Elopement?
When people hear “elopement,” they might think of a couple running off to get married in secret. But today, elopements are all about creating a personal, meaningful, and stress-free experience tailored to your relationship.
Here’s how I define an elopement: It’s an intimate ceremony, usually with fewer than 15 guests, where the focus is entirely on the couple’s connection. Elopements can take place in epic outdoor locations—imagine saying “I do” by a sparkling lake in Vermont or surrounded by the colorful fall leaves of the White Mountains in New Hampshire. They can also be indoors, at a cozy cabin, or even your favorite coffee shop!
An elopement is flexible, intentional, and focused on your love story.
Guest Breakdown:
- Elopement: 0-15 guests
- Small Wedding: 15-50 guests
- Traditional Wedding: 50+ guests
What is a Traditional Wedding?
On the other hand, a traditional wedding is often a large, formal affair with all the bells and whistles: a big guest list, a detailed timeline, and a full day of celebration. Picture a venue packed with 100+ guests, from distant cousins to college friends, multiple events (ceremony, cocktail hour, reception), and plenty of dancing. While this can be a dream for some couples, it often comes with a higher price tag, more stress, and less time for intimate moments with your partner.
A traditional wedding can be amazing if you love the idea of a grand celebration, complete with a sit-down dinner, a live band, and all the relatives in one place. It’s also a great way to create memories with your loved ones who might not be part of a smaller gathering. But it can also be overwhelming if you’re not into the idea of managing a long guest list and endless details.
Key Differences Between Elopements and Traditional Weddings
- Guest Count: Elopements have fewer guests, typically just close family and friends, while traditional weddings invite a larger crowd.
- Timeline: Elopements allow you to create a relaxed timeline that fits your needs, whereas weddings follow a more structured schedule.
- Cost: Traditional weddings tend to be more expensive, with the average cost in the US around $30,000, while elopements allow you to focus on spending money where it matters most.
- Stress Levels: Elopements often come with less stress since you’re only planning for a handful of people (or just the two of you!) and a few key moments. Weddings involve a lot more moving parts!
Benefits of Eloping
If you’re leaning toward eloping, here are a few reasons why it might be the perfect fit for you:
More Time With Your Partner
Eloping lets you spend more time with the person that matters most—your significant other! Instead of stressing over seating charts or worrying if the cake arrives on time, you can focus on creating magical moments together. Spend the morning hiking to a scenic vista, have a picnic by a waterfall, or go for a relaxing walk through the autumn leaves in the White Mountains.
Keep It Personal
With an elopement, you have total control over who’s invited. You can avoid the pressure of including distant relatives or coworkers you barely know. Instead, your day will be filled with the people who truly matter to you.
Focus on What’s Important
In an elopement, the focus is entirely on the love between you and your partner. There’s no need to impress anyone or stick to outdated traditions. It’s a chance to embrace experiences—like watching the sunset after your ceremony or exploring a charming New England town—rather than worrying about material details.
Endless Location Options
One of the best parts about eloping is the freedom to choose almost any location. New England is full of stunning spots for an elopement: from the shores of Lake Champlain in Vermont to the rocky cliffs of Acadia National Park in Maine. You’re not limited to wedding venues—nature becomes your backdrop!
Less Stress, More Fun
Without the need for extensive wedding planning, elopements often feel more like an adventure and less like a production. You can focus on the joy of the day and each other, not the logistics.
Benefits of a Traditional Wedding
Of course, there are plenty of reasons why a traditional wedding might be your choice, too:
Celebrate With Everyone
If you love the idea of being surrounded by all your family and friends, a traditional wedding can bring together everyone in one big celebration. It’s a chance to reconnect with people you may not have seen in years, share stories, and make memories with a larger group.
Have a Grand Party
There’s something special about throwing a huge party! If dancing the night away with a DJ, eating gourmet food, and celebrating with a crowd is your vibe, a traditional wedding gives you that opportunity.
Honor Traditions
Traditional weddings can be a way to honor cultural or family traditions. If you’ve always dreamed of walking down the aisle, having a first dance, or cutting the cake, a larger wedding allows you to enjoy all those timeless moments.
Can’t Decide? Do Both!
If you’re torn between an intimate elopement and a big wedding, why not do both? Some couples choose to elope privately and then have a larger reception later on. This way, you get the intimate, meaningful experience of an elopement but still celebrate with a larger group later on.
You could elope in the White Mountains, then host a relaxed backyard reception a few weeks later. Or elope in an iconic spot like Acadia National Park, and celebrate with family at a cozy lodge in New England. It’s the best of both worlds!
Final Thoughts
Whether you choose to elope or host a traditional wedding, the most important thing is to make the decision that feels right for you as a couple. If you want to explore New England’s best elopement locations, check out some of my favorite spots—like the Lakes Region, Franconia Notch, or the stunning Kancamagus Highway! And remember, no matter which path you choose, your wedding day should reflect your love story.
